The Performer

The Performer

Audre Lorde

I write for those women who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We've been taught that silence would save us, but it won't.


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

This is IT.....the final curtain call!

The call
Them all

Your talent,
Your heart and........
Persona most adored

Through your pain....
Music beats vibrated
Through your heart and soul....
So rhythmic you were
Flexibility was blood that run through your nerves

A true inspiration
You were and still are to many...such as myself!
An undisputed king of are
Still remain,
An icon indeed
I still believe,
Even when we grieve
In us YOU will LIVE....!



I saw,
And hoped,
I'd go
You know?

So good,
The hood,
I should

She skin,
I lean
To sink in

Do you know?
The lone
Won't moan

Coz you are
The one map
I'd wrap
Round my lap!

You and I

Shhhhh! Piss off...

He is way above 19 gal.......
He has his own life
And so do I

He's a man
Too bad am not
And am glad I ain't

You're a woman
So am I
So what's the beef?

Please sort the mess
In your own little ways
And while you're at it....
Leave me out of it!

Those are games
All 'em play
Can't say sorry for 'it'
Coz ' been through it!

Welcome to the World!

The 'IT'

Hunger to learn
Be the best
Consummate student
Raised bar.....broke it!
Talent, thrusts, enters another sphere.
Incredible knowingness
Feeling, aspiration, special
Sadness, a lifetime heartbreak..........

This Love...

Feels so right
With all my might
Will try to find
All I can
To work on this love....

I feel you deep
Within my ribs
And now I think
Whenever I blink
Can't seem to switch
Off your sweet hips

I'll dream you're here
You're absence I'll bear
But it's still not clear
Why you sound so scared
That you shed a tear

I want to say dear
I love you sweet dear
Not just here and there
You'll always be near
I wait for you here............
This I make clear!

Hello Love...

Hey beautiful
You look gorgeous tonight
Am home in your arms
Your eyes sparkle
Every moment you look into mine

Hello My love
I thought you ain't busy this afternoon
Wanted us to take a long walk
Then swim our love to heaven...
Hopefully take a nap thereafter

Hi honey
The best gift God gave me was you
Always wanna' sleep and wake beside you
Always love to hold you through the night
Through tough and them good times
Through tears and joy

Heyloo Baby
Even when we shout at each other
When we sulk
When we argue
Throw tantrums.....
We're only human
This won't make me
Love you any less....

Hae lovely,
Every drop of blood in me
Is engraved in your name
And one simple message:

"Love of my Life."

Who are YOU?

I made a few decisions today
Harsh....indifferent....but meaningful

I am not sorry
I will not regret
Because what I cannot deal with is.....

Your hate
Your violence
Your pretense

Who are YOU?
What defines YOU?
Human....a punisher of all wrong doing/wrong doers?

Who are YOU?
Heaven....hell itself...?

Whoever you are..
One thing I make CLEAR!

You are not a friend
You come nowhere near
Any human being
You belong in your own world
You belong in a world where humans don't exist

As polite as this may seem
As honest as I may be
As proud as you could purport to be
As shocking as this may be

THIS IS IT!!!!!!!!

Non-Discrimination MUST prevail!

Everyone should enjoy human rights
No one should be excluded
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights
Non-discrimination must prevail

Racial and ethnic discrimination brings about hatred, violence
and to the extremes
full blown conflict, crimes against humanity and genocide

Discrimination based on religion and beliefs
breed restrictions on how to exercise our religions
and deprivation of fundamental rights
and to the extremes
sectarian violence, killing and conflict.

Stereotyping in itself bring
stigmatization and isolationism

Discrimination feeds:
Mistrust, resentment, violence, crime, insecurity!
Discrimination makes no economic sense!
Discrimination reduces productivity!

Discrimination has no beneficial aspects for society! NONE!
Yet we continue to practice it, virtually all of us........
often as a casual reflex....without realizing what we are doing!!!!!!!

I encourage people everywhere:
Politicians, officials, business leaders, civil society,
National human rights institutions, the media,
religious leaders, teachers, students, each and every individual.....
To HONOUR Human Rights day,




I have waited to so long
To hear your voice
To read your mail
To feel that touch
To make you ‘mine’

I have waited so long
To hear your soft-spoken voice
To embrace you nice and warm
To listen to your heartbeat
To glow in your love

I have waited so long
To feel those lips
That silence me to quietude
That communicate your inner awakening
That tickle my sense of being
That spark the rhythm
Of song and sound
And  …….. aaah!
The sweet sound of your….
The caress of your …
The ecstacy of your …..
The delight of my heart

The joy of being in love
The intimacy I continue to enjoy and delight myself in!
The knowledge that you probably feel the same
The satisfaction throbbing deep within me
The longing to
Just close my eyes for one moment
And see you smiling at me

The inching of this pure forbidden love

“I have waited so long”…….and I still will be…..Only for you!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Post Election Violence!

Forgive, heal
Are words we spill
But memories are fresh
The wound still flares
Three words cross my mind: Post Election Violence!

A manifest of what Kenyan’s were capable of
A manifest of the Kenyan worst case scenario
A manifest of Kenyan hate for one another
A manifest that will forever engrave the hearts of those who lost their loved ones

Forgive, heal
Police brutality when issues went out of hand
Politicians preaching tribal hatred in their backyards
While they wined and dined with their rivals in the night of days
Politicians buying idol youths to attack, kill, destroy…
While they sit aside and watch with eager pride
Their achievements in separating a people
Their achievements in using the elections as a vehicle for tribalism
Their achievements for having so much money to stir trouble
Their achievements for displacing thousands of families

Forgive, heal
While tribe is a constant reminder of how Kenyan one is
Forgive and heal
While families lost their breadwinners
Forgive, heal
While the displaced starve in camps
Forgive and heal
While the very leaders that caused this melee go about their business, as if nothing really happened
Forgive, heal
While businesses were destroyed, supermarkets were looted
Forgive and heal
What about the innocent women and children that got raped? Worse still killed?
Forgive, heal
What about the men butchered to death at the full view of their loved ones?
Forgive and heal
Trauma? Broken dreams? Helpless dying Kenyans lying around for days, no medical care
Bodies of the dead colored pathways and streets for days….unattended
Forgive, heal
How many people lost their jobs for being the ‘unwanted tribe?’

What about small trade farmers?
They were sent out of their ancestral land
What about small scale business men?
Most were left with nowhere to start…they beg on the streets
Forgive? Heal?

Truth is
We have not started healing
Truth is
There is no reverse gear
Truth is
The leaders elected don’t care
It was all political gimmick….a game only “they” know too well!

Truth is
Now we know better
Forgive? Heal?
Ha! What?
I wish actions could speak louder than these words….

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dear Diary.

Today I woke up with so much energy
I can’t wait to see my girlfriend tonight
Of course this will take place in a club
At least people there are not so keen on who I am with
It’s a busy day
I hope the evening will spruce it up

Yesterday evening was interesting
I met the love of my life and for a moment
It felt like we would not be apart forever
I have woken up feeling sad that she not with me
Though I know this will not be for long…..
I still keep the faith…

I received a call tonight…
My love is unwell…Oh! How i want to fly to where she is and be there for her
All I can send is a card and some flowers
And hope they will adequately represent me
The rest of my day was miserably sad

Read in the Daily newspaper about the signing of that document
To criminalize my sexual orientation
It’s a mixed feeling day for my community and I
Will our meetings still go on even with the terrible flop?
I skipped lunch because I just never felt like it
Maybe it will be better in the evening
News! News! News on television!
The ‘fags’ should get a life

Left for work early today
Discussions at work was all about ‘them’
I tried not to make any comments lest I lose my job
It hurts that they hate us so much…
I cannot even begin to imagine their reactions if they got to know that am one of them
I went home reassuring me that all would be well

My partner was arrested at midnight yesterday
On grounds that she had been caught kissing another woman the previous weekend
That woman she was with was me!
No evidence was availed…. No chance for her/anyone to defend her
Poor Muslim girl! Now they will hang her
And I cannot stop it…….and it breaks my heart that am losing my love, life, light
I could not sleep but stayed up, hoping that all plans could backfire and I could rescue my love

The saddest day of my entire life
I watched her being hanged in public and presence of fellow Muslims
I watched the rope drain life out of her
I watched them abuse our human rights
I watched my heart get torn to pieces
I watched my life losing it’s meaning today
I watched me lose the reason to love again
I watched my hand stop writing my diary
Goodbye Dear Diary!


A manipulation of views
An interpretation of thoughts
A divergence of ideas

What I use to speak me
An awakening of feelings
A reaction towards emotions

A destruction of memoirs
An emerging gossip
An existing vocabulary

Amazingly, creatively structured
Encouragingly disgusting
A verbal diarrhoea for idlers

A healing to the soul
An ideology in the mind
A curse in time

They will hearken to a hearts desires
They will shatter too!
They will build an open book
They will heal a world

If only carefully worded
In a wordy way!

Friday, March 5, 2010

In commemoration of International Women's Day, 2010!

Well, Monday 8th March next week is International Women's Day and my heart's got so much to say about women, to the women.
In as much as we may have so many things to celebrate about being women, we must not forget that we have so much negatives to deal with, on a daily basis...we still have a long way to go in terms of ensuring that all our needs and rights are addressed in every way possible!
We may have to tighten our fists or scream out loud (if we have to) for some of the emerging issues we need attended to as a matter of urgency! My heart goes out to every woman from every part of the world, living in this day and life......!
This year's theme for the International Women's Day is, "Equal Rights, equal opportunities : Progress for all" and it is in this context that my poem below is structured.
Here's a poem I just the WOMAN who's proven herself strong...who will someday... eventually emerge under the covers, rise and take her rightful position on mother earth!
This poem is for you and I hope you like it! Your comments and suggestions are appreciated! I love you!

Read on:

You special woman!

I honor you one most patient
One that withstands all tests
One that suffers from one patriarchal system through to another…..
One who still manages to fight through their plight

One who bore me
Nurses and tends to we
Is there and cares and we…
Disregard this great gift
One woman is another woman’s strength and source of inspiration
One who's been confined in the kitchen
One intelligent and wise
But one whose rights are constantly trampled on and abused
One who labors even in hardship torn
One who holds up her family
One who is human and tires just like every body else
One who has remained vulnerable
One who will at one time or another die each minute from complications resulting from pregnancy, abortion, childbirth.
While someone arrogantly makes decisions on her behalf?
Has she no voice
Or is it remotely muted?

I honor you, special woman
One who suffers rape, sexually harassed at work
Denied a job if they don’t give in to sexual pleasure
But when all this is revealed, then they are branded the ‘WHORES, PROSTITUTES…..immoral
One who has to undergo the ‘cut’ to be ‘woman enough’
One who experiences discrimination for whatever reason be it sexual orientation and gender identity, race, colour, tribe you name it!
One who gets married off to stubborn, rich, old men against your wish
One who constantly experiences abuse in marriage but remains ‘mum’ for the children’s comfort and well being.
One whose violators are never brought to justice
One who is abandoned to struggle and be the sole bread winner of her children
One whose progress is downplayed.
One who is looked at as a social misfit
One whose sanity is in doubt
One who constantly needs beating to put their "nuts" back in place!

I honor you woman
One whose rights are disregarded
One whose predicament I may have left out...
One whose overall advancement toward gender equality has been uneven and very slow
But one who needs empowerment like never before!
One whose powerful voice resonates through the dark corners of humanity
One who has the capacity to make a real difference in the world for years to come

I honor you special woman…
One who is fighting for her rights
One who is asking for opportunities
One whose progress is paramount

You special woman!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The pain of being me!

I heard a loud silence of sorts
That incriminated the queer in me
Cheers and jeers amongst a people so hostile
What the hell got into me?
They blame the society non-conforming animal in me
Yet they love to be with me
They love to listen to me, to see me, to hear me whistle their nights away in bars and clubs and restaurants and …

Or is it just me?

Stones can be beautiful on the ground,
But they can hit and eat as well
They wait, within those thick bushes
And as I pass by on my way home…….ambush my thoroughly entertained body and mind
Hit and curse and spit and…………oh! They raped me
All I remember is that I couldn’t breath for a moment, I was dead, my own worst enemy
They made me chant and promise the world that I would not continue being gay
As each of their violent thrusts inside me
Made me heave with so much pain
So much hate that they were trying to correct the person that I am
They screwed the hell out of me, leaving me for dead….laughing as their satisfied broom sticks walked them away
Their quenched voices distancing away from an innocent me…going further and further
While I bled me to death! I can no longer go on telling this old spittled story...
Corrected rape

Through this tiny knit
Still I rise….a traumatized past, an inclined present
Whelpishly crying me on
Any remembrance of that startles me into cautious silence
Knowing that I will try my best to be safe
Knowing that someone else will try to pin me down
Knowing that despite being careful, I’m not assured a rape-free life
Knowing that the wolf in a man is out there to broker my sanity

I will clip the little membranes under my tongue
And hope this doesn’t happen to any of you
These are to me, moments of icy silence
Accompanied by still and frightening air

Painful truths sprawled down across the lines on my face
But in my heart silenced by a wicked edge…

I will pray for you sister
I will pray for you partner
I will pray for your friend
I will pray for you enemy

In a sister hood
That is full of liars, cheats, hypocrites, homophobes….and all
I will pray for us
Long live Sisterhood
Long live you!

My Feminine spirit

There is a young woman inside of me
Lost in a labyrinth within my heart
A butterfly trying to break free from her cocoon
Trying to spread her wings and fly
Longing for acceptance and love
A soul alone trapped in the dark
Many have laughed and criticized her
Others have watched in silence
As this young woman holds her head up high
With courage she absorbs the cruel remarks
On the outside you may see a man
But on the inside she is a lady; a princess
Beautiful and sweet though she may be
Many tears have fallen from her eyes
But still she chooses to hold on
Knowing she will be real one day
As for her true love
Her Knight in shining armor
He is out there; somewhere
Waiting for her to find her way
Like a bud blossoming into a rose
She blossomed from a man into a woman
This feminine spirit I have inside
A shadow of shame falls onto her face
As she makes her way through the maze
She prays, prays to Him
In hopes that He will hear her
Forgive me Father
All is forgiven
Becoming a martyr for all to see
Fighting to survive and living to be
For no man or woman
Shall defeat the feminine spirit inside of me.

Author: Unknown