We've lost it!

I thought you lost it

When you said it was over

Because I never saw it coming

I thought you lost it with the same breadth that

Said it never really meant anything

But I have a feeling that when one loves too much

And doesn’t get as much as they give then

It’s not a healthy kind of love

Life is about give and take, not about

Give and get less.

I thought you lost it when you asked me not to see you again

Not to come and visit you anymore

Not to be there for you

And just not care about you

This is a lot to ask for

With a hurt heart….I can only give you what you

Rightfully asked for

However painful that may be……

I thought you lost it

When you stopped communicating with me suddenly

Stopped updating me on the latest in your world

 while I constantly reminded you of what was going on in mine

It meant in a quiet but kind way that you were moving on

I am happy for you

But was this planned in advance? Let me know

I thought you lost it

Because you began pushing me away

Slowly, surely….until you had me eating from my own bowels

Crying my world to sleep on me

Tossing and turning in bed

Dreaming that we were trying to make up for the lost moments

But I wake up and

Alas! Am all alone…dreams, dreams, dreams..

I thought you lost it

When you never wanted us to sit and sort our problems as they came up

When I got blue for want of ‘touch’

When I sacrificed a lot for us

When we became lovers turned room mates

When I tried spices on our food and put too much

I think I lost it too!

That makes ‘we’

But am only patient

Strolling as I think of how to go about things

Now that you are nowhere in sight

Trying to do things my way

Without consulting you

Avoiding ‘I love you’s’ coz they don’t matter anymore

Avoiding any attractions that may land me in a dilemma that am in now

We both lost it

And it makes me very sad

That I will not see you again

Not hear from you again

Not get that touch again

Not whisper in your ears again

Not smile at you again

We lost it

Is that the price one pays for loving too much?

Let me know…

April 20^th, 2010