Woman to woman related Q & A... for you!!

Hello Lovely people!

I'd like to first and foremost thank you for attending our "Woman to woman" health forum that was held on Sunday 18th July, 2010. It was nice having you around and discussing a several health issues that directly touched on same-sex practicing individuals and couples. Thank you for sharing your experiences and allowing 'our very own' daktari tackle some of your concerns. You are wonderful people and I miss you already!

For those that never made it, well, am sure you do not miss the next one because it will certainly be better than our first. We will be digging deeper into issues of health, relationships and sex which have taken sometime to bring to the table!

I will therefore in this regard be posting some commonly asked questions and the answers.

Let us break the silence surrounding our health as same gender loving persons, it may save lives!

I Love you and please take care of yourselves...

K8's


I am in a monogamous relationship with my girlfriend. We're both lesbians and I’ve only had sex with her,neither has she. Do I need to worry about an Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) check?

Safer sex is all about reducing the risk of infection. Your situation can be described as a very low risk one. If both you and your partner have not had any other partners previously and don't have sex with anyone outside the relationship then the risk of an STI is very low. If your partner has been sexually active with other people, then there is some risk that she may have an STI.

If your partner is diagnosed with an STI, then it is important that you get tested to see if she has passed it onto you. It is also important that you are honest with each other, so that if one of you has sex outside the relationship, you are able to discuss it together and reassess the risk. Safer sex practices can help make sex safer, even when there is no STI risk.

For instance, risk reduction practices will help reduce the chance of getting thrush or Urinary Tract Infections (UTI) – both of which can occur as a result of sexual activity without any transmission from a partner.

Womanly Women

Out in the dark
Onto the runway street
Where the heaven's whisper to the earths
The hand-picked fruits from trees smile
As if to humbly ask her to be put to lips

Life in the sunshine
Life as a gay woman
Torturous and double-edged
Too narrow to draw the lines
Yet within an accepting heart
An excited, self-inclined and energized soul
One of a human being, not a sinner's!

Sadness is immortal
Not a prank's theory of what really matters
Love in the mind of a fool
Who walks only too blindly and trips
On their two feet and never gets up again
Frustrated in their bid to experience
Low Vulva Experiences
Leave One's Variables Entertained!

Women in Love
Is chemistry, a procedure in the making!
The world around them claps
If not in agony
In the fact that, they found each other
After all!

And in death
The loss of activists of all time
Tears continue streaming in hearts
Robbed off the best in the human rights sector
The vocal instruments that preach the importance of universality of rights
Endless mourning
Of the fallen, well reputed, experienced, the missing heroes and heroines of our time
Especially now when we are in dire need!
But in peace they rest
From agony and homophobia and violence
While we're left to fight on!
Not alone….their spirits forever roam in our midst…here…

Our perceptions
Our stereotypes
Give birth to labels, to assumptions
To ignorance
Our responsibilities,
Brood insecurities, violence…
Our unity
Our vocal ability to exercise our duty to the community we serve
Sprout our responsibility, accountability
Morality and good nature
Bring good tidings, makes it worth the while

I stand, in peace
Wish us well, not splits
Encourage honesty, not empty talk
In this fight, in the struggle
For what is rightfully ours
Alluta continua!

K8’s

Inseparable

One of us
Searching for love
Found another then WE
Met and never looked back ever since
Birds of a feather
The entwined twins that never were…now lovebirds
Whose hearts roam in the same direction
Sing the same song
Walk down the road…hands tightly clutched to each other
Laughing and constantly leaning on shoulders
Fondly looking into one another's eyes
They're inseparable

They are jeered and mocked by strangers
But they have found the joy in being the other's better half
They are comforted in the love they share
These are two women
Destined to be together…even through the hate and mockery
They would never wish to disappear…never apart
Tongues that taste and savor the same wine
They're inseparable

The women cuddle within those walls
That surround the space they call home
They're strong enough to jump into this ship
That sails them to the land of Love…it's peaceful and exciting there!
The land around it is dry and treacherous
They gasp for breath each time day gives way to night
For their fate is unknown to them
They're inseparable!

They crawl till they can walk again
Two women in love…they've found the joy of being in each other's company
Making many unsuccessful ladies jealous
“Te amo”s whispered in the dark…
They're not scared to love
They live their lives….dictated by a society they should conform to
They will pretend to
But they're inseparable!

K8’s

Today's K8's Birthday...!

Yeeeeaaayyy!

It's my birthday today. I have received so many birthday wishes and the excitement bubbling within me is taking me to levels I have never been to in such a long time! Thank you once again for those...

I have also amongst other things received a gift of two books by Maya Angelou (one of my past time favorites) and those that I have been trying to acquire without success for a while now. I got this from a very special someone in my life and I want to say “THANK YOU”.

Books are a treasure to me because the information contained remains long after the cakes and candies are all eaten up...it could never be erased! So is my memory of you!

Books are memories that I hold close to my heart…Books are special gifts and not just books!

I wrote the poem below sometime last month, after taking some time alone one weekend. I was basically thinking about the person that I am, the weaknesses and strengths I possess that make me a ‘unique’ being on earth.

I realized that in as much as I'm human…there are those things about us that will never change. They could either be good or bad, they may be so annoying that one would easily fall sick.

I chose to focus on my few good traits I know about me and this is what I came up with. I had preserved this to post it to you, my ardent reader, on my blog to become part of a piece that was patched up on this special day! I hope you enjoy while you're at it!

I love you all and take care!

K8’s


K8, THE JULY “IAN”

I was born in July
I am a Julian in my special kind of way
I bubble with enthusiasm, about anything and everything
I giggle and play and shout and sing…
The July an way!

I am of a friendly nature
With strangers, enemies and all
With a smile always on my lips
Speak politely…maintain worthwhile friends
Go that extra mile and be there for all time!

Quiet… restrained…makes meaningful noise, only when necessary
The Big Sister who's keeping watch over you!
Free but holds back one in a while
The “you never know” feeling shrouds my thinking…
Reminds to listen before I speak
But not always once in a while!

A deep thinker
A soul that always searches for clues…answers to issues
Solutions? Of course I acquire them through thinking
Keeping “mum”…by my elbow
Staring into space now….thoughtful K8

Good sense of humor
When time is ripe…exact and precise
On the line of laughter
Expression's the brain activated
Silence…eventual death of a sojourner

Loving and caring
Towards dear and near ones
Always lending a helping hand…whenever I can
An ear to always listen
A shoulder, to always lean
A heart, that's more than willing to share

A sharp mind
That responds to situations fast…unrelentingly intelligent
Always ready and willing for correction….she knows she ain't “perfect’
Though at times also makes rash decisions
A willing brain…an energy driven mind
A worthy piece of art…sketched by her Maker!

Sensitive…
To the feelings of others before her own
A keen ear…a responsive heart
Always selfless in reaching out
Always contented in helping others
Always touch people in special ways!

Fun person
Out there…carefree spirit…a body at ease
Though careful of those that surround her, for her own security
Laughs loudest…chats earnestly, cheers joyfully
Maintains a jovial mood, has fun in her own little ways
Even if they involve being locked up in her tiny little room, jumping up and down
Like a pig that is fed on prawns.
Funny?

Forgiving nature
Does not keep grudges…
Gossip is nowhere near her vicinity…
She knows whoever tells her about others will also tell others about her
Always wary about every word she utters
Careful but too honest with what hurts
That's your July Ian girl!

Unpredictable at times
Very difficult to understand…at times too complicated to even know what she's thinking
At one point very open, at another totally discreet and private
Even with those that know her only too well
Different bell rings, different reactions, some unexpected
But precisely set…
You're sure you know her, until she takes you on this one…head on!

Stylish dresser
Keeps her colors in check
And her jewelery in set
Once in a while…even surprise herself
But not stylish every day…others could be more homey and others totally blazing
Rarely style crazy…but also comes as an accompaniment anyway

Peace lover
Brings people together, unites them in communication, in resolving their issues
Encourages….instills love – even in entirely challenging situations
“It starts with me,” she says, and sets that pace

Spiritual at times
Her ‘mama’s’ Bible always within reach
Her silent whispers to the Almighty always updated
Her memory of Sunday school by her chin
A word of hope so closely held

Dedicated and hard working
‘She’ faithful servant of the people
Gives more time for work than anything
Tires but puts it aside ‘to beat deadlines
An adequate reporter…a committed soul to the matters of those she serves
Avoids conflicts whenever they are suspect to arise
The one and one…

K8y July ‘ian!

Mama...

She Used to be my enemy and never letting me be free,
catching me in places that I know I shouldn't be,
Every other day I crossed the line
I didn't mean to be so bad,
I never thought you would become a friend I never had

Back then I didn't know why,
Why you were misunderstood (mama),
So now I see through your eyes,
all that you did was love

Mama I loved you, Mama I cared,
Mama I loved you, Mama my friend,
You were my friend

I didn't want to hear it then but
I'm not ashamed to say it now,
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,
I had a lot of time to think about,
about the way I used to be,
Never had a sense of my responsibility.

Back then I didn't know why,
why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
all that you did was love,

Mama I loved you, Mama I cared,
Mama I loved you, Mama my friend,
You were my friend ,you were my friend

But now I'm sure I know why (I know why),
why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
all I can give you is love (all I could give you was love),

Mama I loved you, Mama I cared,
Mama I loved you, Mama my friend,
Mama I loved you, Mama I cared,
Mama I loved you, Mama my friend,
You were my friend, you were my friend

Ohh, my mama my love
Ohh, my mama my love

In love in you, in love in me
And love was true and guaranteed

I'm loving you,you loving me
our love that was true so true

The Spice Girls...

WHEN AM GONE

It may be time to say good bye
I have been thinking about this for a long time now
And I bet its time to say what I've been waiting so long to say…
This free spirit has to fly
Away from the sun…from the curious stares of my haters
Those that smile but from within those pretentious scarred eyes
Despise that's dressed to kill
Those that mama always warned me about
But those I thought would take time to grow

I have done my best
Watched the tower rest at the foot of my beliefs
Those that I was taught to look up to
The lucky stars that once shone on me
Have disappeared without notice
Left me helpless and lost
I have nothing to keep eating here…the land is withered and dry
Scarce tears is my only drink…regrets have made me so hungry to go on living

I have given up
On everything I thought mattered
Thrown in the towels to a distance I cannot stare into
My eyes are tired of seeing
Ears of hearing all you have up your sleeve for me
My short but pretty fingers which will in no time be no more
Are exhausted from typing to convince you…of what my heart really feels
While all that falls on vampires that laugh at my face
They cackle in laughter as I am dragged to hell by some of those I regarded confidants
I have lost the will to live

This becomes my final moment
Michael Jackson's “final curtain call”
Where all my mouth can mutter is goodbyes
To a hefty but interesting life
One that was full of many lessons
Full of love and hate…full of enemies than friends

I lived a good life
I kept the faith
Is that all you will say when am gone?
That she was a wonderful person
While all they caused you was pain? Will you be true to you?
Please do not bid me bye in pretense?
Stay away and let me be whisked away by strangers
Stay home and wish me well on my journey to the unknown
I will be glad to know that you will not have to
Go through the anguish of mourning me
I have caused enough traumas…save you self this one…this time

Say your prayers if you have any
I will try and feel them from wherever I'll be
But I cannot promise to be there….because am gone when am gone

Rest in peace sistah
Rest in peace black woman of color…oh you queer woman
But in your hearts…”may you go to hell” you bitch
Don't worry, I feel you…you don't have to frown
I totally am with you
In spirit….let this free roaming spirit fly away
To where it belongs
Where it is most needed…the skies above you!

Rest in peace K8’s

Thoughts are just that..."Thoughts!"

I amuse me with
Constant cravings of
A heart gone sour
While all this while
Denounced in silence
Hurting without lifting
Spirits high but yearning
To get that final holding
Where home is best!

Intimidated but numbed fingers to the touch
That brings with it shivers of apprehension
The joys of sad tomorrows
Bewildered in a manner most delirious
I cannot engage for all I know
Souls only speak coldly
Traumatizing a once exciting past
Igniting the fires of an unsure present
And oh! What a glow this brings!

The doors bang behind my back
Sparking haunted memories of
A young girl being pinned down by a group of men
Shrouding in her virginity
The girl screaming at the top of her voice
If only help would calm her off this pain

In there somewhere, a wife is getting battered
Out of her senses…by a partner that thinks of physical correction
Of course through the violent way
A trans gendered person is faced by mob justice on the streets
Of a busy street in town, apparently, for dressing in the ¨wrong clothes”
For being what they are not
Another gay man is facing the hangman's noose
And the lesbian whose education's dropped if she does not conform
To the norm!

That brings me here
The thought corner
Where I get to hold an imaginary conversation
With none but me
And then I begin wondering
Whether life is really fair…
It was never meant to be…there was only a reassurance that it would keep getting better…
Maybe, if only…if probably…
Better…just better, if we started to work towards that
And not expect to wait for fairness
Let's fight and look for it….in that way it will surely come
If only!

By K8’s