The Performer

The Performer

Audre Lorde

I write for those women who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We've been taught that silence would save us, but it won't.


Friday, May 28, 2010


You have said all you had to
You rang all the bells you wanted to
You have made your surprises inevitable
What's more?
You have made it entirely difficult for me to fight this battle
Vulnerable at the hands of evil that I can no longer avoid
Devoid of the situations and challenges that face me

I prefer to act a fool
To continue drinking from the same cuppa’ coffee
I prefer to be the fool, the slut you made me to be
I prefer to just watch you make a bitch outta’ me
I prefer to let you up your game
I prefer to swim to the shore…
Alone…unaccompanied…in my solitary little cabin
Which has no space for an extra person but me!

You used, abused, accused, mused
Gossiped, spied…..what else haven't you been up to?
All this time I lie and wait
In silence, laying my hopes high, hoping that this eye sees some light
Waiting, wishing…caging in on the little bird that was once my food!
This pain is excruciating…but you won't rest till I am dead and done…
You want to finish me up, by inflicting more pain than I have caused

I am glad my blog still runs…through
To help me deal with the pain of loving….
The gain of aching…the shit ain't bringing anything!
But unexpected calls from quarters I'd not disclose

Of hearts that engage and barricade the lonely heart
That seeks redemption…that expresses itself
That trusts even when it becomes hard to
That bleeds from the words you have shared, written, said, thought
That will always love you
That continues to ignore those silly little things you
Conclude or made to make up about me
That one you have always loved
That one that is losing trust in you
That you view as your perfect little punching bag!

I put my heart to rest
I put my hand to test
I relax and do my break
Finally…I welcome solitude
Finally…I saw this coming sooner than I expected
Finally…gladly, I remain the same ol’ K8


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